Petrogenic

Interestingly, memories are starting to come back to me in bits and pieces but mostly at this stage everything after the age of 8, long since anything DID-worthy took place. From this time there were the usual family dysfunctions but I was mostly spared from the real nasty.

I wonder if part of the memory accessing involves travelling back in reverse chronological order?

The other thing of interest is that the memories from age 8 (for example) are influenced by or contain echoes of the memories from (say) age 3-5. Which is odd because everything was so neatly dissociated right up to age 14 in the original film-of-the-book. It’s not that the memories are crossing over so much as… well.. let’s give an example.

I remember years and years of nightmares from ages 8-14 without knowing what they mean based on the events but there is some echo in them of the feelings generated (by which I suppose I mostly mean fear) of what went before, even though I didn’t/don’t/won’t remember. This probably doesn’t make much sense, but its starting to…

I have accessed some brief memories from ages 3-5 and let me tell you I ain’t going back there in a hurry. So perhaps that’s it.. the younger ones want to get there eventually but they know that the system as a whole cannot take it so they are crawling there at their own pace. Perhaps that’s also why the older memories are bleeding through – warning me of what more is to come.

It’s a long and tiring journey.